


Procession

by LiterallyThePresident



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Ghosts, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-18 22:22:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13691022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiterallyThePresident/pseuds/LiterallyThePresident
Summary: Lucrius was incredibly pissed off about how utterly lame his funeral was





	Procession

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Unholy_Author](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unholy_Author/gifts).



> A super late valentines day gift to my awesome friend Cait!
> 
> If you want more of these fucks and/or character descriptions, check out my other fic of them here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12113172

Lucrius Quelus-Kishev was murdered on the shittiest cloudy day imaginable.

He wished he could say he was killed heroically by a kett horde, or a charging krogan, but he wasn’t so lucky. Lucrius was murdered by another turian. His own cadet, someone that he trusted. On his own training grounds (he cursed himself now for not noticing how empty it had been), he’d smiled to Lucrius’ face. Lucrius hadn’t even heard the click of the gun until it was too late. He remembered everything, right up until the cadet shot him in the back of the head. After that, he remembered running, something deep in his psyche telling him that fighting was fruitless. The only thought in his head had been to get away, though later he’d examine whether or not that flight instinct was actually his. He didn’t notice the lack of pain, nor the lightness of his body, nor the strange quality the air had taken on, just this side of odd. He ran and ran, until Seshe’s work building came into view, a haven, somewhere he knew was safe. His close friend Lisylra taking a call outside, and the look on her face compelled him to stop running.

“Thank the spirits, Lisylra!” he called, coming to a stop beside her, “Lisylra, hey, there’s... something happened, this cadet...” he frowned when he got no response of any kind. Not even an acknowledgement.

“So that’s it then. We’re absolutely sure?” Lisylra was saying into her comm, shoulders tense and back ramrod straight, “Completely, without a doubt, _positive_ it’s him?”

“Lisylra?” Lucrius asked, but she still didn’t respond. Dread began to fill him, and he reached out to touch her. His fears were confirmed when his hand passed right through her shoulder.

“Spirits.” Lucrius gasped, reeling back in shock, “What-!?” Lisylra didn’t acknowledge anything out of the ordinary, not even a shiver.

“Okay.” she said, looking as though it physically pained her to, something dark settling behind her eyes, “Okay. I’ll... Seshe won’t have heard yet. I should be the one to tell him.”

“Lisylra, wait-“ Lucrius tried, but she had already stalked away.

“Lucrius.” came an awed voice behind him, and he whirled around. Two turians stood before him, a male and a female. The female had her arm around the male’s waist, and they were both looking at him like he was Palaven itself. Lucrius blinked, something niggling at the back of his mind.

“Uh, hello?” he said cautiously, “You can see me?”

“Lucrius.” the male murmured again as a watery smile spread across the female’s face, “Lucrius. Little Wing, we can finally talk to you.”

“Little Wing?” Lucrius cocked his head, “No one’s called me that since-“ and it finally clicked who these people were.

“Yes, Lucrius.” the female said softly, “It’s us.”

“Mom?” his voice warbled, “Dad?”

“Oh, Lucrius!” the female, _his mother_ , surged forward, lifting him off his feet in a euphoric hug, “My baby!”

“You’ve gotten so big, my big strong boy!” his father embraced him as well, sandwiching Lucrius between the two, “You have my eyes.”

“But-“ Lucrius gasped even as his arms curled around them, “But you’re dead!”

“As are you, Little Wing.” his father said mournfully, “We’re so sorry we couldn’t protect you.”

“I can’t be dead.” Lucrius shook his head, feeling dizzy, “That’s so lame! And Seshe-“ he gasped, back going rigid, “Fuck. _Fuck_ , Seshe! He’s going to... He’ll... He’s going to lose his _shit_ , I have to-“

“Go, son.” they said, releasing him with obvious reluctance, “We’ll still be here when you need us.” Lucrius hurriedly squeezed them again, and then dashed into the building.

—-

Lucrius had missed the beginning of the conversation by the time he made it to Seshe’s office. Lisylra stood ramrod straight before him, eyes steely and walls up. Seshe looked... Lucrius couldn’t describe it. Like his world was a sandcastle, and he was a child trying desperately to save it from the inevitable tide.

“Whoever did it tried to stage it as a training accident,” Lisylra was saying, ”But they were sloppy. They left evidence, clues, and the fact that no one can shoot themselves in the back of the head by accident.” Seshe slowly lowered his omni tool, his face utterly, terrifyingly blank.

“Check the corpse again.” he ordered, his voice only wavering a little. Lisylra frowned.

“I checked four times, Seshe.” she said calmly, “Four incredibly thorough reports and personal investigations. It’s Lucrius.”

“You could have missed something.” he said tightly, his hands shaking, “They might have missed something. A lot of turians have his skin tone and colony markings, it’s easy for someone to make a mistake-“

“Seshe, I wish I was wrong, but I’m not.” Lisylra said sympathetically, “The victim is Lucrius, without a doubt.”

“No.” Seshe shook his head vehemently, his put-together facade beginning to crack, “No, that can’t be because that would mean... that would mean...” Lisylra took a step forward, arm raised as if to touch him, but Seshe stepped back.

“Check again!” he demanded, turning and grabbing his coat.

“Seshe-“

“It isn’t true!” Seshe snapped, “It _cannot_ be true!”

“It is.” she said, though it clearly broke her heart. Seshe bared his teeth in a way that would have made Lucrius hot were his heart not currently crying for the man before him.

“Lucrius wouldn’t have let his guard down.” he insisted, “He’s clever, keen, and the bastard is great at self-preservation. He wouldn’t have let himself-“

“He’s dead.” Lisylra said firmly, knowing Seshe wouldn’t be convinced but still trying, kindly ignoring how the words seemed to punch the air from Seshe’s lungs. Lucrius had to admire her tenacity, though Seshe clearly thought otherwise.

“He isn’t dead.” he insisted darkly as he strided out the door, the look on his face sending people leaping out of his way, “I need to see the body. It can’t be him.”

Lucrius wished with all his heart that Seshe didn’t have to see him, but the spirits had no pity for him. Ten minutes later found Seshe at the morgue, staring down at Lucrius’ still body with its cracked fringe and dried blue blood, amber eyes staring sightlessly at the ceiling. It was weird to see his own corpse, but he had to say he was a handsome devil even in death. Before Lucrius could make a comment that no one would hear, Seshe’s knees gave out, and he would have collapsed if not for Lisylra. Eyes wide and hands trembling, he gripped Lucrius’ shoulders and leaned down.

“Luc.” he whispered, heedless of the pitying look Lisylra was giving him, “Luc, darling, you need to wake up.”

“Seshe.” Lisylra stepped forward, her eyes misty, “He’s gone.”

“This isn’t funny.” Seshe ignored her, shaking the body slightly, growing more frantic as it didn’t move, “You must wake up. Lucrius, I still need you. You aren’t allowed to just die and leave me alone, you’re turian, act like one! Open your skutting eyes, right now! Get your skinny ass back here or so help me, I’ll follow you-“

“Seshe, stop.” Lisylra’s voice held enough authority to snap Seshe out of it, “He’s dead, Seshe. He’s gone.”

“I’m not gone.” Lucrius whispered as Seshe slowly bowed his head to the body’s still chest, letting the sobs burst from his very being, “I’m still here.”

Seshe didn’t hear him. His wrenching cries were the only sound in the morgue.

—

His funeral was the exact opposite of what he had wanted. Everyone was sad, people were crying, there was no music, no strippers, no hilarious eulogy that would leave the audience rolling with laughter. Seshe and Lutabia had insisted on a proper turian service, and one look into Seshe’s eyes sent everyone scurrying to obey. The procession had been small and quick, but the pyre was bright and beautiful, though the squadron of turians (all of which had been personally trained by Lucrius) surrounding it could have stood to look a little less solemn.

“Moms, I thought you knew me.” he complained to the unhearing women huddled in a miserable group, the flames reflecting off their wet faces, “This funeral sucks. Where’s the individuality? Where’s the _pizzazz_?” He didn’t like the way Ollie’s hands were clasped to her chest, but Nemil’s grip on her was tight.

The after-burning feast was... better. The soldiers were finally laughing, sharing stories and good-natured complaints about Lucrius, even if their subvocals still hummed with sorrow. Lucrius swore he saw someone coax a brief, watery smile from Teelan. To his dismay, Seshe didn’t partake in any of the merrymaking. He remained firmly planted in the corner, staring blankly ahead as though none of this was real. Lucrius was coldly reminded of traumatized soldiers zoning out on the battlefield.

Tradition dictated that the family of the deceased receive the urn containing the ashes, while any mate the deceased may have received whatever plates survived the pyre. Given the toughness of turian plates, this was a decent amount. They were wrapped in a cloth and held firmly in Seshe’s lap, his knuckles white as he clutched them protectively.

When the funeral ended, Lisylra walked him home, wiping a tear from his face with a whispered assurance that the pain would ease. She left him with a kiss on the cheek, and he remained collected right up until the moment the door slid shut behind him. He collapsed against the door with a wounded sound, sinking to the floor and hugging the plate bundle tightly. He stared emptily into space, and Lucrius wanted nothing more than to crawl in his lap and kiss that lost, miserable expression away.

It took ages for Seshe to build up the will to move. It must have been at least an hour before he finally heaved himself to his feet, setting the plate bundle reverently on the bed as he stripped haphazardly. He tossed the clothes aside with uncharacteristic carelessness as he stepped into the shower, and when the water turned on he made no move to clean himself. Seshe looked like a man lost at sea, just beginning to realize that no one is coming to save him. Lucrius couldn’t even find it in him to be aroused by the water running down his naked form.

The normally in-and-out man stayed in the shower until the water ran cold, not once moving, and Lucrius couldn’t tell tears from shower water. Seshe ignored his own pajamas, choosing to put on one of Lucrius’ sleep robes. The lavender one he’d always loved to see Seshe wear. His heart broke as Seshe immediately buried his nose in the collar, inhaling deeply as if Lucrius’ scent was a precious thing, as fleeting and sweet as the man himself.

“Lucrius.” the rawness of his voice sent Lucrius’ heart quailing, “I’m wearing your favorite robe. Is that enough to convince you to come back?”

“Seshe...” Lucrius said softly, brushing an intangible hand over his cheek, pretending he could provide any comfort. Seshe fell heavily on the bed, pulling the plate bundle close again and curling protectively around them, burying his face in Lucrius’ pillow. The one he’d always complained about because it was built for turian fringes and uncomfortable to anyone else.

“I’ll do anything to see you again.” he continued, “Anything. Just tell me what it is and I’ll do it, Lucrius. It scares me just what I’d do for the chance to hold you again.”

“Sure, let me just call up the spirits and explain that my boyfriend needs me right away.” Lucrius rolled his eyes fondly, “I’m sure they’ve never heard that before.”

“I can’t do this.” Seshe continued, a hand finding it’s way to his chest in a way that chilled Lucrius to the core, “I can’t do this. You were everything. _Everything_. Without you-“ he stopped himself, forcing himself to take deep, shuddering breaths. Lucrius ached for him, cursing his useless state preventing him from taking the angara into his arms.

“I love you.” it was all he could say, useless and unheard as it was. Lucrius wanted to hold him so badly it physically hurt, wanted nothing more than to feel him, to wipe his tears and kiss his smile back into his face where it belonged.

“I will try to live without you.” Seshe spoke to the air, his voice cracked and hoarse, “I cannot promise I can do it, but I promise I will try.”

“That’s all I ask.” Lucrius replied softly, leaning forward to ghost a kiss on Seshe’s cheek, feeling his own eyes prick with longing as his lover began to weep in earnest.

—

“Oli’iadavend, I cannot allow you to do this!” Nemil was still crying a day later. Lucrius followed after his mothers as they chased after Ollie, trying to prevent her from boarding the tiny shuttle. Seshe was asleep, and Lucrius knew he wouldn’t be leaving that bed for a long time. To pass the time, he tailed his moms.

“Someone killed our son.” Ollie’s face was set, grim determination hardening the face that seemed older now, “I will not allow them to get away with it.”

“You always run off on your own.” Teelan cried, “Always leaving us alone! Do not go!”

“A mad quest for vengeance serves no purpose.” Nemil said sternly, “You are still raw with grief, it is clouding your judgement.”

“The last time I ran off on a mad quest for vengeance, we got a beautiful son.” Ollie said, “And now I am going to avenge him.”

“Teelan cannot survive losing you too.” Nemil said harshly, “It is only because of us she survived Lucrius’ passing. If you die on this revenge quest, I will not be enough to keep her alive.”

“Then I will not die.” Ollie took their heads and brought them close, “I swear to you both I will return. I will bring you his head.”

“We don’t want his head.” Teelan sniffled, “We want you.”

“And you have me.” Ollie said as she stepped away, “Forever and always.”

“Kick his ass, mom!” Lucrius cheered as she turned back to the shuttle, Nemil and Teelan holding each other as she flew away, “I’ll look after Nemil and Teelan while you’re gone.”

—-

Lucrius was delighted to find that he could teleport himself to whoever he wanted. It made everything so much easier. He split his time between Seshe, his moms, and his parents. Ollie hunted the one responsible with a single-minded purpose that would make a krogan jealous, occasionally sending messages back to Aya to reassure her wives. Nemil and Teelan tried to live their lives. They went to work, they came home, they held each other and watched home videos of Lucrius while they waited for Ollie’s call. Lucrius spent long hours just talking with his biological parents, getting to know them all over again and asking every burning question he could come up with.

Seshe... tried to move on with his life. He went to work, he spoke with Lisylra, he trained his cadets, he ate his meals, he went home. Sometimes he made dinner if he felt up to it. Lisylra and Lutabia would come to the house and speak with him whenever they could, not saying a word about the turian clothes tucked neatly next to his pillow, nor the way Lucrius’ possessions were left untouched except for dusting.

Ollie lay in her shuttle cot at night, staring at the photo they’d taken when they’d first adopted him. Little baby Lucrius smiling brightly, all bright eyes and gangly limbs, surrounded by angara women who loved him so dearly despite having just met him. Lucrius could see her rubbing absently at her chest, new lines settling around her eyes that would likely never fade.

Seshe touched himself on occasion, pressing one of Lucrius’ shirts to his nose as he pumped himself, Lucrius’ name a whimpered prayer. Lucrius might have touched himself at the sight, see if he could still get it up even in death, but the tears on Seshe’s cheeks every time without fail soured the image.

—

Exactly three weeks after Lucrius died, Ollie finally found his killer. In an alleyway in Kadara’s slums, she backed him against the wall, eyes harder than the diamonds of Menae.

“Please!” the turian scrambled back, “Please, I’m sorry! I just wanted-“

“Nothing will excuse what you did.” Ollie hissed, “Spare me your justifications.” She shot him in the leg, and even Lucrius felt a thrill of fear at the look on her face. The turian screamed, falling onto his ass and clutching his thigh.

“Please!” he begged like the coward he was, “Don’t kill me! I’ll do anything!”

“Anything?” Ollie’s lip curled, “What exactly are you willing to do to spare your life?”

“Anything!” the turian said again, a desperate hope lighting his teary blue eyes, “Name your price!”

“Anything?” Ollie demanded again, “Anything I want?”

“Anything you want! Anything at all!”

“Then you are an oathbreaker as well as a murderer.” Ollie sneered, pressing her gun to his forehead, “I want my son back, you miserable worm.” When she pulled the trigger, Lucrius felt a little lighter.

—-

“Why am I still here?” Lucrius asked three weeks later, watching Seshe stir restlessly in his sleep, “Ollie killed the guy, so why am I still here? Why haven’t I moved on?”

“You’re one of the unlucky ones.” his mother said sympathetically, holding him close, “All you want is to comfort your lover.”

“How can I do that if I can’t touch him?” Lucrius asked frustratedly, “He can’t even see me!”

“There is nothing you can do for now.” his father said regretfully, stroking Lucrius’ fringe, “Not while he’s still alive.”

“So I just have to wait for Seshe to die?” Lucrius asked with a scowl, “Just sit here and hope he still loves me when he finally kicks the bucket?”

“Look at him, Lucrius.” his mother said sadly, “I don’t think it’ll be too long now.” He looked at Seshe, blue brow furrowed and fist clenched in Lucrius’ pillow, mumbling something that sounded like Lucrius’ name.

“It better be long.” Lucrius scowled, “Death by broken heart is so unheroic, what am I gonna do until then?”

“We will stay with you as long as you need.” his mother said, chirruping softly, “Our wish was to see you again. To tell you how much we love you.”

“You don’t have to do that for me.” Lucrius sighed, his shoulders slumping, “I can’t imagine what these past thirteen years have been like for you. Stuck with a wish that keeps you trapped.”

“It wasn’t so bad. We got to see you grow up, even if it wasn’t with us. And now our wish has been fulfilled.” his dad said, “We have to leave soon. There’s this... pull. I can’t explain it. But we’ll fight it as long as we can.” Lucrius brought them close, hugging them tightly and feeling tears prick at his eyes,

“It was enough to see you again.” he said with trembling mandibles, “Even having you for two weeks was more than I ever hoped for. Go, be at peace. I’ll see you on the other side, okay?”

“Are you certain?” his mother asked worriedly, “I’m loath to leave you alone again.”

“I’ll be okay.” Lucrius said with a tight smile, “I’ll have Seshe.” His parents held him close, squeezing him tight.

“We love you.” his father said, and Lucrius could feel him growing less solid under his touch.

“Forever and always.” his mother said. And then they were gone. Lucrius felt grief rise in his chest, but it fell surprisingly fast. He would see his parents again, he was certain of it.

Seshe shifted, murmuring a soft “love you”, and Lucrius kicked up his feet with a sigh, resting his hand by Seshe’s as he settled in for the (hopefully long) wait.

_End_

 

 

 

 

Bonus:

It was interesting, watching a ghost be created. The monitor flatlined, and Seshe’s body went still, his face easing into death. As the doctor shook her head with pity and shut the monitor off, a figure took form beside the body. The figure stared down in shock at the new corpse, and Lucrius wondered if that’s how he’d looked when he first realized was had happened.

“Two months, asshole?” he grinned at the way Seshe stiffened at his voice, “I’m kind of offended. I thought you’d last three weeks max without me.” Seshe turned slowly, like he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. The sound he made when he finally laid eyes on Lucrius sent his subvocals into overdrive.

“...Lucrius?” he whispered, like even saying the name would shatter the illusion. Lucrius gave him his trademark cocky grim.

“It’s nice to hear you say my name without crying.” he joked, although he had to take it back when he saw a few tears start to make their way down Seshe’s cheeks, “Hey whoah, I thought you were finished crying about me? Seriously? I’m here!” Seshe didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. He stood frozen in place, staring at Lucrius like he’d vanish if he moved.

“You can come closer if you want.” Lucrius beckoned, opening his arms as the nurses took Seshe’s body away, “I won’t bite. But I can later if you want. I learned that even death can’t stop this sex machine.”

Seshe remained right where he was, and Lucrius began to wonder if he was actually frozen. Just as he opened his mouth, Seshe made a sound like a wounded animal and hurled himself at Lucrius, wrapping his entire body tightly around him like an octopus and clinging tighter than a vice. Lucrius stumbled, falling to the floor with an armful of weepy angara.

“Lucrius.” Seshe gasped, even though he didn’t need air anymore, “Lucrius, my love, my life, my darling, it’s _you_. It’s you. I-I have so much to tell you, I _missed_ you, it was _agony_ , and I-I couldn’t do it. I’m so sorry, my love, I couldn’t do it. My love, I am never letting you go again!”

“It’s okay.” Lucrius cooed, holding Seshe as best he could pinned as he was, relishing in finally being able to _touch_ him again, “I never left you. I was always there, keeping an eye on you. I never let you go.”

“You were always with me?” Seshe asked, turning his nose into Lucrius’ neck and inhaling deeply, “My own personal ghost? You saw...”

“Everything.” Lucrius grinned, “I saw you cuddle my plates like a stuffed pyjak, saw that horribly shitty funeral that I’m still mad about, watched your weepy masturbation sessions with my clothes.” Lucrius laughed at the shade of deep purple Seshe turned at that, delighted in the way he buried his face into Lucrius’ plates in embarrassment. Spirits, he’d missed this. Missed Seshe.

“You are incorrigible.” Seshe huffed as he pressed closer to him, “I cannot believe I missed you.”

“Aw, want me to make it up to you?” Lucrius cooed.

“And how exactly do you plan to make up for the most torturous two weeks of my entire life?” Seshe pulled back just enough to look at him, eyes still a little wild as they drank in every detail of him. Lucrius grinned, pecking him on the lips.

“A soft bed and a lot of lube.” he said cheekily, earning a bark of laughter from Seshe.

“Typical. Two months apart and all he wants is sex.” Seshe rolled his eyes, and at long last a smile found its way onto that beautiful blue face. Lucrius smiled back, and he began to feel a tugging deep in his gut. The one his dad had talked about.

“My darling bluebell, we have eternity together.” Lucrius grinned as the world around them began to fade, “And it’s ours for the taking.”


End file.
